Posted on Sunday, 14th October 2007 by K Buchanon
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times; it was the spring of hope; it was the winter of despair -
I am going to talk about a person who was the most courageous, and had more grit than anyone I ever knew. That person was my wife. When I got out of service in 1954, I thought I would go back to farm as I did when I was a child. My wife, who was from Cape Cod, had never experienced the extremely hot weather and suffered with it quite a lot. It was one of the hottest summers in several years. In eany event, while we were there, we had a little girl.
She died at three months. They attributed it to crib death. We had no insurance and the birth and funeral was very expensive. She then gave birth to another little girl prematurely, who lived for only 12 hours - another funeral. She was gutsy and wanted to try once more. Another little girl who was born prematurely and only lived 7 hours. This was just too much and we left there heartsick and heavily in debt for three funerals and doctor bills. It was years before this got paid, but in the interim, while in Boston, she took treatments at Beth Israel to find the reasons. After this, we transferred to Miami and afterwards to New York.
My wife decided we would try again and went to a good Gynecologist. She took pills for bleeding, for cramps, and hormones. We had a little boy. At that time, my insurance covered $300 for pregnancy and I was spending approximately twice as much per month. Needless to say, we were very nervous while he was a baby. I know we took him to the doctor at times needlessly and hovered over him for any cough or sneeze. He had a smallpox shot just before we went to the Cape for a weekend. He had a bad reaction with a 105F temperature and we were scared to death.
There was a doctor, Murad, on the Cape who was one of the kindest persons I ever knew. He came and stayed the night with us in his pajamas. We had called the doctor in New York and he was almost crying in his anxiety for my son. The years went by and we had two more sons by use of all those medicines for each. Needless to say, we didn’t put away a lot of wealth.
When my second son was killed at 21, while in the 82nd airborne, we both practically lost our minds. She was the strong one and helped me and her through it. A few years later, through xrays, the doctor said she apparently had lung cancer. They tried to take a biopsy, but only deflated her lung. To get it back up, a doctor on staff at the hospital tried and it became infected. She spent 13 days in the hospital. The doctor had her take a stomach scan and they discovered her kidney was cancerous. A short time later, she went in to have a partial lung and kidney removed by surgeons.
While in there, they told me her gall bladder was diseased and asked me if they should take it out also. Of course, I agreed. She had three surgeons work on her the same night and was very critical. Prior to going to get the operation on halloween night, the weekend before we had spent the day just riding around enjoying the fall foliage, which she loved as well as an extreme love for flowers. Before going in, she spent the day making meals for me to last a week. She cleaned my best suit, shined my shoes, and then went in. She told me later she didn’t think she would survive.
While in critical care, with tubing down her throat and in and out all over her body, she tried to sign to me to get her a crossword puzzle book which she enjoyed doing. I didn’t understand, but a nurse did. I brought her one, and she was using it when the doctor visted her. He said he had never seen someone in critical care occupying themselves like this. After this, she was in and out of hospitals for years, part time in a wheelchair, on oxygen, and taking 10 or 12 prescription daily. Through all this, she kept good cheer and planned trips for us and our two granddaughters and sometimes with our grandson.
She finally died after spending about six weeks in a hospital. She never lost her sense of humor and faced everything with courage. She is my hero. I now am on about 10 prescriptions, but I would find it hard to complain after her inspiration.
